Passive Aggressive

12 Tips to Deal with Passive Aggressive People

Passive Aggressive people hide their feelings of anger in front of others.

According to Mayo Clinic, Passive Aggressive people tend to express their negative feelings harmfully, but indirectly.

They tell you that they do not have any problem but their body language and tone of voice are entirely different.

They respond to conflict by shutting others out and giving them the silent treatment.

What is Passive Aggressive Behaviour?

It is engaging in an indirect expression of hostility, criticism, insult, sullen behavior, and stubbornness.

It is not a disorder but a habit of non-active resistance to negative attitudes.

One must be open and honest about feelings from the start to deal with the issues instead of giving the silent treatment.


Tips on How to Deal with Aggressive People

  1. Identify the Aggressive Behaviour
  2. Find Strategies to manage Passive Behaviour
  3. Stay Calm and Do Not Overreact
  4. Reaffirm the Agreement
  5. Maintain a Healthy Distance
  6. Identify the Cause
  7. Start a Conversation Regarding the Issue
  8. Practice Assertive Communication
  9. Open Up Channels of Communication
  10. Refuse to accept The Wrong Behaviour
  11. Avoid Tit for Tat
  12. Give the Aggressive a Chance to Help Solve the Problem

1. Identify the Aggressive Behaviour

Identify The Passive Aggressive Behavior

The aggressive people try to hide their feelings and show that things are alright.

When you confront them, he or she may deny being overreacting, and their actions contradict their words.

Signs of Aggressive People

  • Total negative attitude
  • Complains much regarding their workplace and colleagues
  • They put sarcastic remarks and are over critique
  • Always complaint of injustice
  • Gives silent treatment
  • They do not take responsibility for their actions and behavior.
  • Blame others for their mistakes

If you are an aggressive person, then the first step is to find out your action and behavior and try to improve it.

2. Find Strategies to manage Passive Behaviour

Find Strategies To Manage Passive Behaviour

The first step is recognizing the behavior and find number of ways to deal with the behaviour.

It is the most challenging part as many times it is tough to identify why they are angry.

The best thing is to deal with their behavior straight away so that it does not increase in a rapid manner.

Ways to manage Aggressive Behaviour

  • Make notes on the situation as they appear.
  • Let the person know that it is safe to raise the issues with you in the open.
  • Try to remain calm when dealing with the aggressive person.
  • Use language in a careful manner when dealing with people.

Instead of pointing out the issue directly you can remind others of their mistakes in a positive manner.

3. Stay Calm and Do Not Overreact

Stay Calm And Do Not Over-React

It is necessary to stay calm and analyze the situation and its outcomes before reacting.

The best way to deal with aggressive people is by avoiding negative conclusions.

For example, If you have texted your friend and didn’t receive a reply, it doesn’t mean they are ignoring you.

It may be possible that might be busy with something at that moment.

Rather than reacting to the situations, it is better to come with many ways of seeing the situation.

To avoid disagreement the best way is to learn effective communication.

Your reaction may make the situation worse and may put a negative impact on others.

How to handle Passive Aggressive People?

  • Think of the situations many times before reacting.
  • Try to stay calm in disruptive and stressful conditions.
  • It is better to deal with situations with the empathic approach.
  • When in aggression try to calm down by taking long and deep breaths.
  • Try to talk related to the issue instead of giving the silent treatment.

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4. Reaffirm the Agreement

Reaffirm The Agreement

The aggressive people annoy many times with their difficult behavior.

They feel that they are always right and the other person is wrong.

In that case, talk to them about their aggressive behavior and ask them to agree to cut their behavior.

It does not mean that the situation is over or resolved.

They may fall back to the old habits or may find difficulty in changing.

During that time you must help them to remind the agreement not to behave in aggression.

By doing this you are reminding them of what they agreed to, and you should not accept their behavior.

How to handle Passive-Aggressive People?

  • Help them to know where are they wrong and where they need to change their behavior.
  • Talk to them in a calm voice and ask them not to repeat the behavior.
  • Remind them of the agreement and reaffirm not to accept the bad behavior.
  • The aggressive people must not over analyze the situations.

5. Maintain a Healthy Distance

Maintain A Healthy Distance

At times you may find it difficult to deal and communicate with them.

The reason is that these people are so good at hiding their feelings and emotions.

It is not easy to predict their behavior when you are handling aggressive people.

They have ego problems and hide their real emotions inside and annoy others without letting know the reason.

The best way is to ignore and keep a distance from them.

How to deal with Passive Aggressive People?

  • Make it clear to them that you are not going to tolerate their behavior.
  • Do not be much lenient while dealing with them.
  • Do not provoke an angry discussion rather be diplomatic while dealing with them.
  • You should not tolerate the mistreated behavior and ignore them until they realize where they did wrong.

6. Identify the Cause

Identify The Cause

If you want to handle aggressive people, it is necessary to identify the reason for their behavior.

To identify the root problem give them a chance to explain themselves and do not let them pass blame on others.

Talk to the person many times, so that you can understand their situations and problems.

How to deal with Passive Aggressive People?

  • Give them the chance to explain their behavior.
  • Do not be too lenient with them while dealing with them.

7. Start a Conversation Regarding the Issue

Start A Conversation About The Issue

When you have figure out the cause of their ill behavior, it is time to start a conversation related to the issue.

They often lack good communicating skills because they find it difficult to express their emotions.

You can encourage them to deal with things on the face and speak to others directly.

Communicate regularly with them so that you can,

  • Develop Strong Relations
  • Build Trust
  • Identify the Problems in the easiest way

Stay calm during the conversation with them and ask questions to find the reason for their actions.

Talk to them, so they do not hide their emotions inside, and tell the reason for their aggressive or annoying behavior.

8. Practice Assertive Communication

Practice Assertive Communication

Assertive Communication means being positive and nonreactive, yet respectful.

It means expressing your viewpoint, and that must be clear and direct while still showing respect.

It helps you to:

  • Control and reduce anger
  • Minimize conflict
  • Maintain a healthy relationship with others

When you are assertive, you resolve the problems with confidence and in a healthy way.

It is necessary to listen to others and do not accuse them in the conversation.

  • Watch your tone while speaking
  • Be willing to discuss on the issues until you find a solution
  • Be present and mindful

With active assertiveness, your speaking skills will get better, you will take less stress and develop more trust.

9. Open Up Channels of Communication

Open Up Channels Of Communication

It is an effective way to handle the aggressive people.

Most of the aggressive people lack speaking skills and find difficulty in speaking out.

One must use direct speech and polite social gestures to talk to them.

Whenever you feel the aggressive behavior, call them out to put a stop it fast.

The active message will solve the issues and no one’s sentiment will get hurt.

An aggressive person must use assertive communication to say things in a respectful manner.

10. Refuse to accept The Wrong Behaviour

Refuse To Accept Wrong Behaviour

Hostility is the common trait of aggressive people.

One must address the wrong behavior and talk to them in a safe environment and solve the issue.

How to handle Passive-Aggressive People?

  • Tell them anger is not acceptable.
  • Ask them to learn positive ways to deal with situations.
  • Refuse to engage with them when they are aggressive.
  • Let them recognize the signs of Passive Aggression Behavior.

One must understand that it is not easy to change the behavior all sudden.

But pointing out is the best way to let them know where are they wrong.

It will help them to learn their behavior and bring change to their hostility.

11. Avoid Tit for Tat

Avoid Tit For Tat

Aggressive people are uncomfortable to experience and repeat their behavior over time.

It is obvious to get upset when tackling with aggressive behavior, you might want to strike back.

But you must understand that by arguing the situations may get worse.

It is better to avoid that person instead of taking negative attitudes and feelings.

How to change Passive Aggressive Behaviour?

  • Set limits, bring changes in the attitude and follow through.
  • Adopt a habit of face to face talking.
  • Take your ego out while talking.
  • Explain your point in a healthy manner instead of keeping things inside.

12. Give the Aggressive a Chance to Help Solve the Problem

Give The Passive-Aggressive A Chance To Help Solve The Problem

Many aggressive people behave this way because they feel that no one understand their situation or don’t listen to them.

They want to explain their point but struggle to speak out due to lack of speaking skills.

Instead of fighting back it is better to understand their situation and try to solve the issues.

Help them out by listening to their point of view and reason for their ill behavior.

If you are good at recognizing their behavior, you can ask the reasons for their misbehaviour.

How to handle Passive-Aggressive People?

  • Help them to speak their point with confidence.
  • Try to help them solve their problem with discussion.
  • Reinforce appropriate behavior
  • Learn much information related to them so that you can easily handle their actions.
  • Keep a healthy distance when you feel that it is not a good time to talk.

Common Aggressive Behaviors

While tackling with aggressive people, it is better to know how they behave when they are angry.

  • Forgetfulness: They most of the times tend to avoid the responsibilities by forgetting the events.
    For instance, you have dinner together, they tend to forget and doesn’t appear.
  • Blaming: They never take responsibility for their actions and behaviour. In their eyes, they have no fault and others are responsible for things.
  • Victimization: They feel that they get unfair treatment. It is always others fault and not theirs. For instance, If they are late, they will blame traffic or another person.
  • Procrastination: They do tasks according to their scheduled time. If given deadlines they believe that it is for them only and not for others.
  • Negative Thinker: They always see the negative ways to deal with the situation. Aggressive people are full of negativity and annoying.
  • Ambiguity: They are good at hiding the emotions or rarely mean what they say.
    They react when they get stress out or find difficult to communicate.
  • Lack of Anger: They never show anger directly. They show calm behavior on the face but inside they are angry.

To deal with these people, you must be ready to face the situation.

An aggressive person needs someone who can completely understand them and help them to change their behavior.

  • Don’t Overreact

    The best way is to avoid drawing a negative conclusion and help them to analyze the situation. An aggressive person should learn self-control and find alternative ways to express situations.

  • Maintain a Healthy Distance

    When you are dealing with a difficult person, it is easy to predict when they show direct behavior. But, dealing with these people can be different.

  • Reinforce Appropriate Behavior

    Do appreciate aggressive people when they bring changes in them. It will help them to increase the rate of that behavior.

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